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Discussion Question 4
Marriage and cohabitation are often debated in our society. What are your opinions on the pros and cons of cohabitation versus marriage? Would you choose cohabitation or marriage? Explain why you would choose cohabitation or marriage.
Please post your response to this thread.
Reply to two (2) fellow students’ responses by posting thoughtful and meaningful comments related to their discussion.
Responses and comments must be substantive in content and a minimum of 200 words.
Discussion Q#4
by Tara Sybrant – Thursday, 13 April 2023, 5:34 PM
There are a lot of factors, pros and cons, to keep in mind when deciding whether to cohabitate before marriage. I think it’s important to think about what your end goals are. If one partner is ready to be married and the other is not. It would be a good idea to clarify the goal and get on the same page. Here are some pros and cons to consider.
Some pros to mention for cohabitation would include relational closeness, can take away some of the stresses that getting married does, and reduces expenses. Some cons to consider when choosing cohabitation are couples are less likely to make sacrifices to save relationship, what you save in money, you might lose in relationship quality, strain family and friend relationships and relationship with God.
I choose marriage over cohabitation. When I was young and not walking closely to the Lord, I chose cohabitation. I knew he wanted to be married and I wasn’t “ready”. The truth is, I knew in my heart God was saying NO. I believe God gives us instructions and boundaries, and guidelines for our protection. He loves us and knows what is best for us. When we are in times of weakness or temptation, or times when we are deceived all we can see is all the reasons it would be good. We just want to do what we “feel” like doing.
When couples choose to marry and not just cohabitate it’s a message that its possibly only a temporary commitment. I believe it offers security and trust and safety. I don’t believe cohabitating improves one’s likelihood of having a successful marriage.
Rhonda OConnor – Friday, 14 April 2023, 8:15 AM
According to the textbook, marriage is defined as “a socially and legally recognized union, in which the partners are united sexually, cooperate economically, and may give birth to, adopt, or rear children.” (Cohen and Strong, p 6). All of these things can be the same with cohabitation, except it is not always legally recognized. Marriage is expected in some cultures and living together would not be tolerated. I think living together can prepare you for the reality of what it is like to be married. On the other hand, living together isn’t viewed as a permanent relationship as much as being married is. I have friends who have lived together for literally decades, own houses, and have children yet still get asked “When’s the wedding”? There is a societal expectation for marriage and sometimes living together is viewed as being less committed. There is also the issue of legal matters – some insurance companies won’t insure a partner unless they are married.
I chose marriage and it was the right choice for me at the time. It was expected and so that’s the path we followed but wedding planning was incredibly stressful. My husband and I have talked about it and we sometimes say we should have lived together first and gotten used to each other being in the same space before we had the stress of planning a wedding introduced to the newness of getting acclimated to each other’s differences. Both my children lived together with their now spouses and I think they had an easier time of adjustment. I believe it is entirely up to the couple in question as to what works for them.
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